Taid's Stories

Prologue


The sun sprinkled its glorious rays onto the pure welsh land, promising a day of magnificent sunshine. On a normal day this would be a blessing for the land and the people, on a normal day they would complain about the heat or pack the family up in the car to go to the beach, but today wasn’t a normal day. Today was a sad day. The sun seemed to be mocking the sadness, echoes of ‘How can there be sunshine when our world is missing a beautiful songbird?’ drifted from family member to family member.
The Jones family were in mourning. Today they had to say their final goodbye. Today had a strict routine and that’s all Caradog could think about. He blocked anything else out, it was the only way he would be able to cope. Today he could make her proud. He made sure that everyone was dressed smartly and presentably, he made sure everyone had tissues and was ready for the day, he stopped his little sister from breaking down in a heap of tears, and he made sure Eluned stayed by him holding tightly to his hand…

They all congregated at the small church, each holding their breaths, desperately wanting to just crawl into a hole where no one would be able to see their sufferings. They got through it somehow, clinging on their happy memories…so many to choose from; the strength of family pulling them through the dark river of grief.
When the ceremony ended, the family members were bombarded by ‘our condolences’ and ‘so sorry for your loss’ from complete strangers and long lost family members. This was the hard part. The staying strong for the family, keeping a straight face, striving to find the names of people in amongst the chaos of his dulled mind. Caradog couldn’t take it anymore.

He found a small bench a small way from the patch of disarrayed family members. He sat feet apart with his elbows resting on his knees, hands cradling his heavy head. He sat for a while in that same position. Not really thinking. Just being. He looked up and surveyed his family; all of them together in the same place at the same time. He couldn’t even remember the last time they were all in the same place. She would be smiling right now; he could see her face and hear her laugh. A small smile escaped his lips…the first time he had smiled in weeks…funny that.

His eyes ended up following a white butterfly that must have taken a fancy to the beautiful flowers laid out on the grass. Then he noticed another…then another. Two more appeared out of nowhere and joined the previous two. For some reason he took comfort from those tiny pure white insects, fluttering by with no care in the world.

A little voice came from nowhere beside him, detaching his eyes away from the dance of the butterflies. A tiny hand made its way onto his. Eluned…
Eluned had made her way to him with her little brother in the push chair. She looked at him with sad eyes; he couldn’t bear to see such sadness in such a small child.
“Daddy?” Gethins voice whispered from the push chair “Why is everyone so sad?”

So yea...

Hey (if anybody really reads this!)

Wel im sorry i havent written in a while. and it has been a long while its just i have been so caught up in life and university that i couldnt just stop and write all those jumbling thoughts in my head.

So ive finished Uni now and weve got a flat and i have a job, in H Samuels wich is a surprise, and so now its life without uni. Its strange, ive been ill with the amount of stress ive been under what with getting jobs, getting a flat for me and Tom and finishing all the work ive had to do and then worring why ive been feeling sick, nauseous and dizzy with headaches and its because ive been under a lot of stress and my body just needed to have a rest.

People keep going on that i havent really done anything which annoys me because i have been doing so much these past few months and they arent in my body and mind that worries about everything, and i mean everything. everybody copes with stress diferently, just because it doesnt happen to you deosnt mean it doesnt happen to anybody.

So everything was looking up, we got a flat - got jobs - finished Uni - ready to graduate.

But i knew something bad would happen soon and it did.

My nain (nan, grandma whatever you call yours) is really really ill in hospital. shes had a brain hemorrage and i cant help but look up all i can on it but i dnt know enough yet to know what kind of one she had. shes under sadation right now aftre her surgery and shes been stable all night so shes getting another scan today to see how she is. its frustrating because it was so out of the blue and i live 4 hours away and mums telling me not to come up because id just be waiting around. i feel hopeless, but then again i would probably feel hopeless being there too. I can help but feel for taid and my mum. i dont know how to comfort them.

One of my fears is that nain would wake up and not know who everyone is and she hates hospitals anyway so she would be confused and i dont want to see that with nain. i mean you never really know how you deal with this kind of thing till it happens, and me being as nieve as i am i didnt think that this would happen to my nain. shes so strong and kind and wonderful, shes my nain. i wouldnt be able to cope with that.

All i can do is wait, keep positive and keep busy. I feel guilty though as weve just had the keys to our flat yesterday, so im excited about that so i feel guilty for feeling happy and trying not to think about it. im sure she wouldnt like me to do that though....she always wanted the best for me.

Caru chdi nain, Paid a dario mynd ok! fydda chdi yn ok!